Quanto para bailar?

I'm not sure if this is the case with other "gentlemans clubs" but mine has a very healthy following of Latin patrons. I would just like to start out by saying that I fucking LOVE them. The majority of the time they are respectful and tip me well, which is more than I can say for some of the affluent white patrons that we have.

Since I am the only person in my bar who speaks Spanish, it is an unwritten rule that I will play translator many, many times a night.

Last weekend I had several sitting at the tables against the wall. They were extremely new to America and didn't speak a lick of English. Rather than post this in Spanish (because I'm not sure how to make an upside down question mark or a squiggly over the n) I'm going to give you the abridged version in English.

Them: How much for sex?

*Believe it or not, this is a common question and I do not get offended by it. I can only assume that it is different in their culture*

Me: I'm sorry, but there's no sex here. You can have a dance, but there's no touching.

*It never fails to make me feel badly for them when I see their face fall when I answer. Right afterwards they will almost always apologize, I think that's rather sweet*

The night continued on as usual, them asking me ususal questions in Spanish (where's the bathroom, do you have any food here, can you go get that dancer who was wearing the striped shorts for me); however, the last question my little spaniard asked me threw me for a loop.

He walked up to me as I was taking dishes to the bar with a twenty in his hands. I assumed he was going to ask me to find a dancer for him, when he said, in perfect Spanish:

"May I please have a bag of cocaine before I go?"

I couldn't help but laugh. After I explained to him that I couldn't get him some blow, and he probably shouldn't ask anybody else for some either, they left.

I remember thinking how amazingly different South America must be.