The Customer Is Always Right?

Dear Readers,

Today is a special day here at Naked Women and Beer. Apparently, today is "open the floor to extreme interpretations of events as told by the customers who were there, quite drunk, and apparently offended."

Maybe you all remember my "Missed It By One Day" foursome of a post? If you don't, you can find it here. That link takes you to part one, and from there you can continue on to the rest.

Now, some of you may recall that my co-workers are aware of my blog. Some read it, some don't, but all are aware. Apparently, it was leaked to a customer somehow (although, when you spend almost every night of the week in a strip club, you're bound to become privy to some information. I guess it's one of the perks of having a hollow shell of an existence.)

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a very special treat today. Naked Women and Beer's own "Chad" has stopped by and left quite the rambling comment about his views on the events that transpired those few short months ago. Let's see what he has to say, shall we?

I am indeed "Chad", so flatteringly referred to as "robust". In truth it would be more accurately described as "fat", but I appreciate our Goddess's kindness. Still, kindness doesn't excuse inaccuracy or mean-spiritedness.

As to the first incident, I had no idea that alerting the staff was an inappropriate way to handle somebody getting ripped off in the lap dancearea.Kismet told me that she was new at this game, and I could tell she didn't wantto make waves. Still, it seemed only decent to press the issue lest this guy get away with stealing more money. I am guilty of saying I was going to kick the guy's ass if he didn't pay up or quit stealing ollars off the stage.
Michelob--what can I say?

I find it strange, though, to be described as stalkeresque, since Kismet is now my closest friend on earth. As well, nobody seems to have a problem with me besides the Goddess herself. I suppose they're secretly despising me as they're offering to lend me DVDs and hanging out with me outside the club?

And the "look darlin'" speech? I will allow a little dramatic license and let that slide, along with the copious occurances of the phrase "fuck you". But that isn't the way I remember it.

In truth I am perhaps the least of the "rule breakers", never having hauled my junk out in the lap dance area, and seldom if ever allowing my hands to wander. I can get five dancers to back me up for every one that would even hint at such a thing. I think five is probably a conservative estimate.

The "sitting at the bar"incident is also a little mangled. The reason for my annoyance was that I wasbeing asked to move, but others were clearly not subject to the same restriction. In fact, there's someone sitting there nearly every time I go in.

As well, "babysitting" is a fairly commonly used joking phrase that refers to the situation when one of your "real life" friends calls you in to keep her company. I can't afford to throw hundreds of dollars every night,because I'm not Bill Gates. So sometimes I like to hang out at the bar and stay out of the way. My friend was asking me to come in for three nights a week, and maybe more, during that time. So it's not so sinister a thing as it was made out to be.

As well, when she said "Chad, sit down!" I was not actually trying to follow Antonia. As she stood there with her hand on my chest as if to restrain me, I was holding a fist full of dollar bills that I was trying to use to tip someone. If somebody was hyperventilating, I failed to notice it. I told her to take her hands off me, because it's pretty irritating to be restrained.
That goes double when you don't understand why.

As well, the part of the Eve story that you have not been told is that she has alsobeen a friend of mine _outside_ the club. If I were going to "molest her", as theGoddess accused me of to another dancer, there have been times in which thatwould have been both easier and more tempting than sitting in a bar full ofpeople. Yes, I was inappropriate because in my tipsiness I kissed her. But there
was no grasping of her head. It was not violent, just inappropriate. Most of herirritation was that I had done it in front of her customer, because if some guys getthe ideathat a girl is involved with somebody, they stop tipping her. Odd, but true. Letme be clear, though. I am not saying I am or ever have been romantically involved with Eve. I most certainly have not.

There was no "go the fuck away", either. In actuality, she was trying to tell me she could get fired for doing that. I was embarrassed that it had been taken so seriously, and fairlyashamed, and I couldn't really stand to talk about it right then, so I held up a hand and didn't listen. Later, though, I apologized profusely, and it was good enough for everybody but the Goddess. Eve and I are still friendly today. In repentance, I even told the manager what I had done. I accept responsibility for my screwups.

Now I'm on the "shit list", despite being nice to theGoddess at every turn. Dutifully forking over dollar after dollar every time she wiggled her ass at me, taking interest in her well-being, and trying to be as friendly and supportive as I could. Despite being pegged so early on as a piece of crap, she feigned an awful lot of interest in my own well-being. I salute her acting skills, but for my part, I was sincere.

Beyond that, occasionally I still make an attempt to be friendly to her, but she'll have none of it. If hating me makes her happy, then I suppose it's no skin off my back. But I do think it's kind of sad that anyone would want to reduce a fairly decent human being to an exaggerated cartoon character for someone's amusement.

Ishall be interested to see if the Goddess has a sense of honor and fair play to match her zest for exaggeration, and allows this comment to be posted.

Whoops. Sorry. I thought the Goddess was the mistress of the blog.That's who I was referring to, lest there be any confusion.

It's not a bad nickname, now that I think of it. It seems somehow appropriate. Certainlymore so than "I'll Never Tell". There's a lot of "telling" going on around here to be sure.

Well now, that was quite a mouthful, wasn't it?

Ok, here we go.

Dear "Chad",

As per to your issue with me calling you "robust," what can I say, I was trying to be polite while still providing enough detail so that my faithful readers could have some mental picture of the story I was relaying to them. Secondly, as far as Kismet being your "closest friend," maybe you would remember the not too nice things you had to say about her later on in the evening. Oh wait, you were drunk that night.

Memories have a way of becoming distorted when consuming copious amounts of alcohol, no?

I'm glad that you feel so welcome at my club, as far as you referring to me being the only one with a problem. Titty bars are funny like that; as long as you're continuing to spend money people will usually put up with anyone. I have stated before that I'm getting burnt out, so I see no point in keeping up facades. It just annoys me.

Oh, and please allow me to provide you with a medal for never having exposed yourself in the lap dance room. That's quite an accomplishment, I am sure. I wonder how many other men can say that? And five dancers will be character witnesses on your behalf!?!? Wow, quite an accomplishment. Really.

As far as the kissing of Eve is concerned. Please don't insult my intelligence. As memory would have it, you were quite tanked on vanilla vodka before you entered my establishment, as you stated yourself. Also remember that I was standing right there and witnessed the entire thing. But, hey, believe what you want if it helps you sleep better at night. Personally, I sleep like a baby.

As per your jumping out of your seat to "tip" with a "fist full of dollars," please allow me to remind you that this incident occured late on a Sunday night, when there was only one dancer on stage. Since Antonia had run off the stage because she was feeling ill, just who exactly were you attempting to tip, dear Chad?

And I'm sure it must be quite intimidating to have a 120 lb female "restrain" you with one hand. I never realized quite how strong my arms must be, considering you are quite a large man. Maybe I missed my calling? Screw sociology, with the guns I'm packing in my upper body, I should go out for the WWE.

I could go on and on, poking holes in every one of your sentences, but I'd rather not bore my readers.

I'm glad that my opinion of you is "no skin off your back," Chad. I'm sure that anyone so unconcerned with my feelings as you would spend such time trying to convince the good people of cyber-land who have never met you, will never meet you, and don't really give a rats ass as to the true nature of your character.

I'm opening the floor to my readers now. You seemed very hopeful that I would publish this comment, so I hope you got exactly what you wished for.

Best wishes to you, Chad.

Waitress