Saturday, March 31, 2007

Vengeance, Thy Name Is Waitress; Idiot, Thy Name Is Anonymous

Before I ever began writing this blog, I informed all of my co-workers (employee's only) about what I was doing. I even let them choose their own names; hence Duke, Elvis, CEO, etcetera. I also made a promise that I wouldn't write about their personal drama. These people are my extended family, and I could give a rats ass about the customer bullshit, but these people are my friends.

That said, the reason for the lack of posts as of late is because the majority of the drama happening at The Titty-Club has been inter-employee bullshit. Luckily, the drama seems to have passed over (hah to my Jewish friends) us; and I am now free again to write about stupid customers.

Before I do; however, I would like to start a segment, much similar to a "mail bag" on other sites, where I post a ridiculous comment from some random idiot, make a rebuttal, and then let all of my faithful readers tear them to shit with their responses. Cocky? Yes. Self-indulgent? Oh fuck yes. But this is my blog and I get to make the rules!

Here we go then; this comment came from "anonymous" (but of course); although I was able to determine that they are from Hoboken New Jersey (hah! site meter wins again!), and is in response to my last post "A day in the life."


"Well," I start, "I'm Jewish, and Boyfriend is Methodist, so it's not really a big deal for us. Because my status as a Jew is ascribed (inherited), regardless of whether our children attend Church, they will still be Jewish."

I feel badly for your future children. Not because they will be Jewish but because they have a mother who is dumb enough to think that the above is a smart answer. Your $0.02 was literally worth $0.02.

OKAY! Here we go:

Dear Anonymous from Hoboken:

I take it you missed the class period where the discussion on the differences between race, ethnicity, and religion were discussed. Your spelling was on track, and you didn't write in that God awful "leet" speak, which I so despise, so I have to assume that at the very least you made it out of high school.

That being said, I feel I should educate you on the matter, so as you can refrain from embarrassing yourself further.

A persons' race, religion, and ethnicity are three separate yet equally important facets of who a person is. Take for example, me. I am white. White is my race, although some PC people would rather me refer to myself as Caucasian. In all reality, I'm sort of pink-ish with freckles. That would be my color. Making sense to you yet? So, I am of the Caucasian/white people race.

Now, my ethnicity is Jewish. It is my culture and my background. It also happens to be my religion. Is the light bulb starting to come on for you yet, Hoboken? Now, let's examine my Grandmother.

My Grandmother is white/Caucasian (remember, Hoboken; that's her race). She is ethnically Jewish, having being raised in a Jewish family in Birmingham, England. (Not Alabama, in case you're confused, Hoboken. I don't want to throw too much on you at once). As per her religion, she is Agnostic. See how that works? She's one of each... How exciting for her.

So, back to my unborn children. If Boyfriend and I get married and have children, they will be White/Caucasian. They will also be ethnically Jewish, because I am a Jew, and it follows on the mothers' lineage. Regardless of whether they decide to become Methodist, Buddhist, Spaghetti-monster-ist (you get the picture); they will be, essentially, Jewish.

I hope that clears it up for you, Hoboken. Looks like your $0.02 wasn't worth shit.

Have a fabulous day,


Blogger Michael said...

Amen to that, ma'am...

And welcome back.. we've missed you.


10:41 AM  
Blogger jeyadev said...

the important part in there was the fact that 'Jewishness' is inherited from the mother's lineage, not the father's, as is typical in the Anglo-Saxon system.

10:47 AM  
Anonymous Solaire said...

I've had a hell of a time trying to explain this concept to my 11 year old in the context of both culture and religious terms (Are YOU smarter than a 5th grader anon?)

10:52 AM  
Blogger Jenny said...

Ha ha. All though to put anonymous in their true place, make sure your grammar is accurate. :p

Anyway, long time reader, first time responding. I enjoy your writings, and I can't wait for more posts. :)

1:20 PM  
Anonymous Kiz said...

Hm, that was quite well-written... (your response, not the original comment).

The idea of Jewishness as an ethnicity as well as Judaism as a religion seems to be what causes confusion. I mean, I can't see the same argument being made with most other religions--same conclusion, maybe, depending on the person, but not the same argument. Judaism, in particular, has been tied with Hebrews/Jews as a race for, what, 6000 years? Other religious groups don't have the same history. (Maybe a somewhat similar stance could be taken with Hinduism, but even then there's a difference in terms of Hindu not being considered an ethnic identity.)

Then you have the view common to a lot of East Asians about coexistent religion. So, you can be Buddhist and Shinto without either of them conflicting. You could make another rather similar argument from those viewpoints about mixing religions in children being "not really a big deal". I think it only starts getting complicated when you get into other major religions--Christianity, Islam, Hinduism.

What irritates me the most about that comment isn't the disagreement, but how there's no actual point. It's just "you're stupid" stretched out to four lines. K

4:30 PM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

You Go Girl! My favorite phrase is "Stupid People Suck". Hoboken.... You are in that group. Keep up the great writing! And don't let the idiots of the world get you down (I doubt you do!).

11:58 PM  
Blogger The Cleaning Lady said...

Sounds like intelligence PASSED OVER hoboken. :)

missed ya, girl, welcome back!

7:44 AM  
Blogger Otana said...

Yay, good to see you back, I've missed this blog.

9:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

also, unless she has some sort of disorder of the nervous system, she feels bad, but not badly.

10:06 PM  
Blogger ADW said...

Love the site - glad you are posting again.

9:00 AM  
Anonymous Kerry said...

Maybe I am misunderstanding this so let me throw out my 2 cents. Inn the prior post you responded that you were jewish and you steady was methodist so your kids would be jewish.

So by this my understanding is that your kids would be of the jewish culture as that is passed down by the mothers lineage.

What does that have to do with religion? The discussion at hand was about religious preferances and such how does the fact that your children will be considered from the jewish culture make one difference on their religeous preferances?

I mean if I say "well I am black" that means what religeously? Just because you state you are considered jewish in lineage how does that make you jewish in any religeous fashion?(ie because as far as I have read you are not religeously jewish) I think that was the point of the former poster.

10:34 AM  
Blogger waitress said...

What would give you any reason to think I wasn't religiously Jewish? You read my blog, Kerry; you don't personally know me, and making assumptions about my religious affiliation beacuse of what you think you have read makes you no better off than Hoboken.

That said, the whole point of my post was to reiterrate that it did not make a difference what religion my children are, they will always be Jewish. I don't understand what point you're trying to make here, other than to confirm what i've already said.

Anyway, thanks for your two cents.

12:43 PM  
Anonymous Tina said...

"Ha ha. All though to put anonymous in their true place, make sure your grammar is accurate. :p"

Jenny, check your own fucking grammar. "Anonymous" is singular (his or her, not "their") and duh, "although." I'm usually not a grammar tyrant, but you started it.

10:52 PM  
Anonymous Elethiomel said...


Modern guides (such American Heritage Dictionary, 1992 and Chicago Manual of Style, 1993) are coming to accept the usage of the 'singular they' for indeterminate persons as it has the advantage of being gender-neutral. There's a good article on it here:

(That's the trouble with correcting anyone's grammar an style - most things can be argued more than one way and no-one is perfect!)

9:58 AM  
Blogger Jo said...

Jenny, check your own fucking grammar. "Anonymous" is singular (his or her, not "their") and duh, "although." I'm usually not a grammar tyrant, but you started it.

To be fair, they were right in their use of 'their' with 'anonymous'. 'Their' can be used to express third person singular when one is unsure of the gender of the subject (as is common with the term 'anonymous').

2:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Technically, if your kids went to church, they would be Messianic Jews and the state of Israel wouldn't recognize them as Jewish. However, the state of Israel would be wrong; your kids would simply be Jews who believed in Jesus, and that would be very cool.

10:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Waitress, I think you're great, but I can understand the confusion. It seems (and I'm sure you will correct me if I am wrong) that you answered a questions about religion with a remark about ethnicity. In any other context it would simply be a non-sequitor (e.g. -- if a catholic marries a hindu, what religion will their children be? Indian. Huh???)

The correct answer to "what religion will your children be?" would depend upon what religious values you choose to instill in them.


9:46 PM  

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