Monday, August 14, 2006

The type of woman you meet in a strip club #1

The angry girl.

You know who you are. You probably didn't even want to come to the titty club, but your boyfriend wanted to go, so you begrudgingly agreed. Now you have decided to make it your personal mission to piss off as many people (myself included) as possible so your boyfriend will finally leave.

You like to sit in the corner of the bar, scowling at anyone and everyone in the building; muttering such deep and interesting thoughts such as "fucking whores," "her breasts are fake," or, "I don't fucking want to be here."

When I come up to take your drink order you like to pretend you're better than me, turning your little nose up like you just smelled something terrible and avert your eyes while saying "I'm good, thanks" in a tone that lets me (and everyone else at the table) know that not only are you not good, but you really don't mean the "thanks" part either. What you probably wanted to say was "get the fuck away from my table/boyfriend, girl in tight jeans who I am going to assume is a whore because she works here." After I leave you will make your boyfriend go to the bar and get you something to drink.

One night, a few months ago, we had an angry girl who's boyfriend decided to buy a lap dance. The song had barely started when she ran to the lap dance area and hit the dancer across the head. The dancer then beat her ass in front of God and everybody until we were finally able to pull them both apart.

After you have bitched/started enough drama your boyfriend will finally decide to leave; unhappily. Usually you will end up getting into an argument in the parking lot, which will require my lot guy to come over and ask you to take it somewhere else. Sometimes this can turn into a fight between your boyfriend and the lot guy, considering your boyfriend is already pissed off and, as much as he may want to, can't very well hit you--his crying girlfriend.

Do you see the mess you are creating by coming to my club, angry girl? Do you understand the lives that are being affected by your insecure actions?

Please let me give you this piece of advice. If you are, in any way/shape/form, insecure about your relationship with your boyfriend (which includes insecure about how you look, whether or not your boyfriend is cheating on you, or if he still finds you attractive) do not go to a strip club with afore mentioned boyfriend. It will only end badly for you and everyone else involved.

What you don't seem to understand, angry girl, is that a strip club is, in fact, the safest place for your boyfriend. He's not going to get laid, get head, or get anything else your crazy, emotional mind can conceive of. The most he's going to get, other than an empty wallet, is an erection (which will turn out good for you when he gets home). The chances of him hooking up with some skank at a regular bar are astronomically higher than the chances of him hooking up with a stripper. In case you don't realize it, these girls have husbands, children, boyfriends/girlfriends, and do this because it's their job, not because they are some strange form of nymphomaniacs who enjoy sleeping with random patrons for a dollar.

So please, angry girl, do us all a favor and just say no to the titty bar. Go to another bar with your girlfriends instead. Trust me, we will all have a better time without you around.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

that sounds like a friend of mine!

2:24 PM  
Blogger Wide Lawns Subservient Worker said...

So true. I saw this constantly, and I keep trying to tell my girlfriends that the strip club is the safest place - unless of course your man is extremely rich. Our girls down here are like piranhas on the richest men, because they want to be their girlfriends.

5:01 PM  
Anonymous TomTom224 said...

It angers me to see how people treat employees at strip clubs. I mean, come on. Do people really think that it's the girls' dream jobs? I mean, sure, I assume many girls enjoy it - Dancing can be fun. But...You need to have manners. And on top of that, do you really want to be with a guy who's looking for more and more titties, but not yours?

Just a though/

1:41 AM  
Blogger i'llnevertell! said...

All very true, the problem is the girls start so young, and before they know it they're addicted to making that kind of money every night. It's a circle.

8:03 AM  
Blogger Brad said...

I'm confused. I thought the whole idea of going to a topless joint was to get away from your girlfriend.

Seriously, there's something wrong with a guy who takes his girlfriend to that scene if she's obviously not into it. Something wrong if she waits until she's inside before she blows up on him, too.

8:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I found your blog at Wide Lawns Narrow Minds reccomendation. Its too much fun!

Thanks for the great read!

8:53 AM  
Blogger i'llnevertell! said...

I suppose that some men are either hoping their girlfriend will enjoy the strip club, and therefore get off their ass about going, or just have the type that want to go wherever he is.

9:52 AM  
Blogger Ceetar said...

I don't know why anyone would want their girlfriend with them at a strip club. To take your girlfriend out and then spend it staring at and spending money on other girls? Doesn't seem like the right way to treat a girl.

I just don't get it.

12:33 PM  
Blogger The Girl with Moxie said...

I wonder if some of these guys have fantasies a la Penthouse Forum that their GF will be so turned on that she will: a) get a lapdance for herself and he'll get soft-core girl-on-girl action; b) decide she wants a 3-way and make plans with his favorite stripper to meet back at their place; c) decide to start stripping herself. Good luck, fellas.

5:11 PM  
Blogger i'llnevertell! said...

hey moxie:

Wait for the next post about the type of girl you meet in a strip club, you're right on the money darlin!

5:19 PM  
Anonymous Gypsy_Jo said...

"In case you don't realize it, ...the girls do this because it's their job..."

says it all, kiddo, thanks!

7:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blame the stupid asshole who brought angry girl w/ him! He should know it's not going to end well.

4:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My ex had, before me, only had sex with (3) strippers in VIP rooms. Granted they were in Texas near an Army base but I didn't know that actually happened!

6:17 AM  
Blogger Sondra said...

Hi, I've been lurking around your journal for a while now and I am getting caught up on all your entries. I think this entry was very well put! I LOVE going to the strip club with my boyfriend. I have never been the angry girl, but I know exactly who you're talking about. I go to the club with my boyfriend because I like to watch him flirt with pretty girls. It's fun when the dancers realize that hey, I'm here to have fun and spend money too, not glare at them all night, so then they start working me and giving me attention too and I love it! It's fantasy, it's not supposed to be reality, but I guess some people have trouble seperating the two.

PUH-LEEZE keep on writing!

6:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice blog, great writing.

The only thing I think that's off the mark is calling the women who get angry at their BFs by going to a strip club as insecure. I definitely agree that they have no business going there and shouldn't even bother being with a guy who would if they don't agree with it.

There's another demographic of women who don't approve of such an establishment: women with class, morality, and self-respect.

A strip club is a place of fantasy right? But I don't think the strippers who put on the facade of sexual interest to their patrons would appreciate if they in turn were paid by those patrons in fantasy dollars.

2:47 PM  

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