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Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Revenge of the Stripper

As I have posted before, strippers can fight. That is undeniable truth; however, sometimes the dancers like to exact their revenge in other, more productive ways. Usually these actions take place in the locker room--the place where dancers change, get ready, and store their things. These are just a few of those stories. [Insert "tah tah tah" noise from Law and Order]

Once upon a time we hired a D list porn star to dance for us. Apparently, this girl had a web based forum about her career which she continuously updated, and she decided that it was a good idea to write negative comments about the other girls at the club. These comments ranged from telling people that she was the best looking girl there with the best body, and calling the other girls "white trash."

As you can probably imagine, these comments didn't sit well with the other dancers, or with management on a whole. Rather than get into a physical confrontation, one of my girls decided to break into her locker and pour foot powder all over porn star's clothes, makeup, etc. Although this may not seem too extreme, let me state that it was well known that porn star had terrible allergies to foot powder. Eventually, she stopped working for us.

Then there was the time that two dancers had some "she said/she said" drama. This was several years ago, so I am rather fuzzy on the details, but the point was that one girl (dancer X) was talking a lot of shit about another girl (dancer Y), not only to other girls, but to customers as well. Dancer Y then decided to pee into a plastic cup and pour said urine all over dancer X's clothes, makeup, shoes, etc. Dancer Y was fired.

And we can't forget the time that dancer T was upset at dancer M, more "talking shit" drama, but also because dancer M was sleeping with dancer T's ex-boyfriend. Dancer T decided to grab a permanent marker and write several nasty things (including drawings) on dancer M's locker. The only problem? We recognized her handwriting. Note to all--if you're going to deface someone else's property, write with your less dominant hand to avoid getting caught. Neither dancer works for us anymore.

More recently was the time that someone had some sort of problem with dancer A. Apparently, whoever it was decided that it would be better to rip all the stickers off her locker. This case is still pending investigation.

Petty? Probably. Stupid? Sure. However, it's better than what happened to this poor girl:

One dancer, dancer W, was very unliked at the club. She was well regarded as "cutthroat" and rather reveled in screwing up the other girl's money by hustling their customers while they were onstage. Finally, one of my girls had enough.

While back in the dressing room, a confrontation arose between W and T. T was very angry that W kept taking her customer to the lap dance room while she was onstage.

"I just think it's fucked up that you're hustling my customer," T exclaimed, angrily.

"Shut the fuck up you fat bitch," was W's reply.

T was smoking a cigarette at the time and effortlessly flicked the lit ember into W's face.

Later on in the night, as W was walking out, T was onstage. W walked out to her car, put her things in the trunk and stormed back in as T was putting her clothes back on. She tried to attack T, but she was apparently one of the rare sort of stripper that doesn't know how to fight. She came at T like a crazed lioness, with her hands up and fingers curled into claws, apparently trying to literally scratch her eyes out.

T laughed and right hooked her across the face. Then T proceeded to beat the shit out of her inbetween the two stages.

When it was all over, T was left with a scratch on her cheek. Dancer W was fired, for premeditated assault.

16 Comments:

Anonymous Gypsy_Jo said...

I once stuffed a rather buxom girl into a locker in a dressing room :) but she did show her stuff to my husband. at my house. when I was working. she deserved it. :)

11:54 AM  
Blogger i'llnevertell! said...

damn right she did. bitch.

1:24 PM  
Blogger Film Aficionado said...

Christ! The hazards of being a stripper. I would think that they would have enough trouble dealing with men.

3:09 PM  
Anonymous Stacee said...

I thought the Law & Order sound was "dun dun dun"?

4:06 PM  
Blogger i'llnevertell! said...

ooh, you're right. damn. maybe i should go back and change it? LOL, oh well.

4:20 PM  
Blogger Savannah said...

I thought there were only two noises in the Law and Order? But I only watch SVU (Special Victims Unit), so perhaps it's different...

5:38 PM  
Anonymous Gypsy_Jo said...

hey waitress!
where is your "ask the waitress" button?

I have a Q

when is it the best time for an old dancer to retire? with a bang or burn out? whats the cut off age in your opinion?
dont worry, my dancing days are done as of 6 years ago. philly aint been the same since :)

7:07 PM  
Blogger i'llnevertell! said...

okay, i have to be careful with this question jo, because we have a wide range of ages with our dancers and i don't want to offend any of them.

I think it depends on who you are.
Strip clubs have a funny way of making time stand still, and where as you may have started dancing at 18 to make some extra cash, you wake up the next day and you're 35.
We have several dancers in their thirties, some older than that at other clubs, but I would say, that you should be smart, put away the money you make, and try to find something else to do within 10 years of dancing. Any time after that is just burnout.

8:31 PM  
Anonymous Gypsy_Jo said...

thankfully, I bailed when I still had "IT". I bought my farm (litterally) with the loot that I made. making that decision to leave was the hardest thing to THINK about, easiest thing to actually DO. A.M. had her winnabago party to send me off that very night. thank god its over! LOL

7:55 AM  
Blogger SkippyMom said...

...and I worry about the drama between the two lesbian pool cleaners I have working for me...oy vey! LOL...LOVE the blog!

9:02 AM  
Blogger Film Aficionado said...

Question: Do strippers actually enjoy/get turned on when they are having sex with customers or is it just work?

3:09 PM  
Blogger i'llnevertell! said...

strippers dont have sex with customers, boobs, that's prostitutes.

4:45 PM  
Blogger i'llnevertell! said...

The only problem i can think of with "going out with a bang" per se, is that after a few months have past, you remember how good it was and possibly yearn to return. However, leaving because of a burnout lowers your chances of repeat dancing

5:07 PM  
Anonymous Gypsy_Jo said...

boobs, dude, why'd ya have to end up bein an a$$h@le? and I was starting to like you... dancers DANCE, thus the STAGE.

I sold my bag that very night, lock stock and silver tipped 6" FMP's! lol
I saved one gown, oddly, I rarely wore it when I danced, and ONLY when my husband came in to see me. who says dancers arent romantic? lol

6:19 PM  
Blogger TypeRoxy said...

So..I just got introduced to your blog about 2 hours ago from a post from 'The Insaine Waiter' mentioning you. I would like you to know, it did not take me 2 hours to read your blog...I had many, many times taken up by my boyfriend and son.

I would like to let you know, though, that this is my first comment on any blog.
I...felt an understanding in your work environment...and got a guilt trip from one of your other commenters (sp?) about lazy blog readers...

all in all, great blog!!

4:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was told by my boyfriend(who i work at a club with) that when i got the time i should come and read this....so today was that day and he was right you are an amazing story teller and you make the story come alive....its almost as i were there lol...but anyways keep on writing and ill keep reading.

4:36 PM  

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