Monday, August 21, 2006

The type of woman you meet in a strip club #3

Girl who thinks this is just a regular bar.

Listen, ladies, some of you out there don't seem to understand the workings of your friendly, neighborhood titty bar. It is not, no matter how much you may want it to be, just another club, and should not be treated in such a way. I realize that in any other bar it is perfectly acceptable for you to go up to random strange men and have them buy you drinks; however, it can, and usually will, get you thrown out for behaving in such a way in a gentleman's club.

First off, please do not bitch about you having to pay a cover charge. In case you didn't read the sign, this is a gentleman's club, and you're lucky we don't charge you double the door cover. Secondly, do not expect to be let in unescorted (unless you are obviously more interested in women). I realize some of you might be offended by this last statement, so please bear with me and allow me to explain the dichotomy of the dancing club.

Understand, please, that in a normal bar, the only people who are working for tips are usually just the bartenders and the waitresses, with few exceptions being DJ's, floor guys, ect. In this situation, it is almost encouraged for random men to buy you drinks, as it all helps to fuel bar sales and does not hurt anyone in the establishment. Contrarily, in a strip club, there are anywhere from 15 to 30 girls a shift, all there to make their wages on what customers deem appropriate to give them. Because they are considered "independent contractors" they do not recieve an hourly wage, and must pay a "house fee," sometimes called a "tip out" to do business in the establishment. By engaging in routine acts with the male (and sometimes female) patrons, i.e. sitting at their table, having some drinks, they up their chances of getting better tips on stage and lap dances--all helping to make their wages for the night.

Enter you, girl who does not understand this and likes to hustle other tables. It may very well start out innocently enough. You're sitting at your table, and you happen to make eye contact with the gentleman sitting at the table next to you. Over the course of the night, you make conversation with said gentleman, and he may even buy you some drinks. It's very possible you might even move to his table.

THIS IS NOT OKAY. Every drink that is bought for you is less money my dancers are making. This makes my dancers very unhappy, and rightfully so. The chances of this happening if you are "escorted" by another male are much, much slimmer. It is, however, perfectly acceptable for your male companion to buy you drinks; if he didn't, I would question why you were with him in the first place.

"But waitress," you plead, "he offered to buy me a drink! It was only polite for me to go sit with him and say thank you."

This is still, really not a good idea. We had a fight last weekend because some patron bought a girl a drink, and her boyfriend didn't appreciate it. In a typical caveman-esque type of attitude, boyfriend decided to confront patron.

"Ghooo. Chomp chomp. Me man. You not man. Gruuuh. No buy for woman."

"Chruug. You asshole. Me do what me want with me money. Gharrhn."

Fight ensues. Now, in tracing back the problem we can easily see that it all started when the patron bought girlfriend a drink. If girlfriend had politely declined said drink, boyfriend's ego would have stayed intact, and I doubt that much of this would have happened.

Saturday night we let two "lesbians" in the club. Unescorted. Before I knew it they were sitting with a large table of Hispanic men in the corner, enjoying their free drinks. Although this was bad enough, they were taking turns making out with each other, and then making out with the Hispanic men at the table.

I didn't raise a fuss because I was in a bad mood and I needed the comic relief. They all left together, I can imagine what transpired afterwards.

Now, understand that wile the girls were sitting with the male group, the group had stopped paying attention/tipping the dancers on the stage. This is my whole point about letting unescorted women into the strip club, it's just bad for my dancers.

For those of you who are pleasant, keep your hands to yourself, and mind your own business, I say come, hang out and have a drink with me.

First round is on me.


Blogger Savannah said...

I find it all very amusing, all this about the different kinds of girls. Are there subcatagories you could tell us about?

10:54 PM  
Blogger i'llnevertell! said...

Oh yes honey, just you wait, I'm planning a whole series on them, LOL!

11:03 PM  
Blogger KristieD said...

i have never personally worked in a strip club, but many of my friends have. So sometimes i was able to go see them, unescorted. (usually my boyfriend went w/me tho) I have seen all 3 types of girls you have described. Do you have a name for the girls who are actually cool? The ones who arent lesbians (maybe bisexual, or w/tendencies that way) who just go to enjoy it and tip and just have fun. It's funny- my Best Friend is a "curious girl" you described curious girl, i felt like you were describing my friend. i should have her read this. ;)

11:50 PM  
Blogger i'llnevertell! said...

Yeah, I call them "my friends" :)

10:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your stories are interesting, BUT sometimes frustrating due to the poor spelling, or erroneous word choice such as wile instead of while or their instead of they’re. Try spell check, and there is absolutely no shame in popping open the dictionary or thesaurus. is good, as is Webster's dictionary I use them both all the time. Good Luck with school, work, and life in general!

3:53 PM  
Blogger i'llnevertell! said...

Here's the thing, anonymous, I spend the majority of my time in school (being a soc. Major) writing lit reviews and journal-esque papers, so when I want to write for fun and for me, I write in this blog. Someday I hope that I have so much free time that I can spend it criticizing other people on the internet, while under the name "anonymous" so I don't actually have to admit/take credit for my anal retentive actions. Good luck with you.

4:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I honestly appreciate these tips!

I've only been to a stip club a handful of times. The latest about 2 years ago was with a guy friend, who brought three girl friends (notice "girl friend" is two words, none of us were attached to him).

Anyway--guys at the neighboring tables approached us, started up a conversation, bought some drinks.

Your blog makes perfect sense, but it honestly never crossed my mind that I was taking $ away from the girls working there.

I'm now married and don't see myself in the same situation, but I'm glad to know that's not the appropriate way to behave!

4:56 PM  
Blogger Semi-Celibate Man said...

Great post. In twenty years of clubbing I had seen signs that single unescorted girls were not allowed in. I never was quite certain why. No I know.

12:46 AM  

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