Thursday, September 28, 2006

Can I get you whaa??

I don't know why this is, but it seems that a lot of the patrons in my club think I am a resident "drug finder". Usually it starts out something like this.

ME: "Here's your drink, honey, that'll be four seventy-five."

THEM: "Thanks. Man, I'm tired..."

ME: "Yeah, me too."

THEM: "Sure wish I had something to pick me up..."

ME: "Well, we do have coffee."

THEM: "No, I need something a little stronger than that."

ME: "Red Bull?" (always the eternal sales-person)

THEM: "No, how about some [insert narcotic stimulant here]

ME: [walking away]

Usually, after I make it clear to them that I will not, in any way, find them drugs, they will try to "laugh it off" like it's a joke.


About a month ago, I was at the bar, waiting on some drinks, when this ridiculously tall guy approached me.

"Hey," he said, nonchalantly. "I'm Really Tall Guy (RTG). You from around here?"

"Yeah," I replied, resisting the urge to say something sarcastic.

"Look, I'm from Oklahoma, and I'm here for a few weeks. Do you know where I can find any weed?"

"No, sorry honey. I sure don't." In all honesty, I do know where to find weed (who doesn't) but I wasn't about to say that to a complete stranger, especially at work.

"I'm not a cop," he said.

"Good for you."

"Really, though," he persisted, "I just want to find some grass to tide me over until I get back home. Please?" He looked down at me, waiting.

"Darlin', I really don't know what to tell you."

"Well, then I suggest you go fucking find some!"

I was in shock. I stood there, trying to gauge his statement. Regardless of whether or not he was serious, that was a hell of a thing to say.

I notice the table behind him pointing and talking amongst themselves. As I turn to walk off, one of the guys approached RTG.

"Dude, you looking for something?"

RTG turned to talk to the stranger, and I high tailed it to my DJ (who wishes to be called "Duke").

"DUKE!" I screamed it across the bar. Duke snapped to attention and briskly walked over. "There's a drug deal going down with those two guys at the bar." I pointed, and Duke headed over.

Duke kicked them both out, and I never saw either of them again. I should say, however, that I might have turned a blind eye had RTG not been such a dick.

Attitude is everything.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah attitude does matter.

4:47 PM  
Blogger INNER VOICES said...

why would any one ask someone behind the bar for drugs? why not ask the guys smoking a joint out back instead or the stoned guys at said table first? never have i understood why a person at work would risk their job for some idiot looking for a dime bag.... who thinks that way? nice work...

5:21 PM  
Blogger Film Aficionado said...

That seemed to come out of nowhere on his part. Maybe he thought you were giving him some attitude. By the way, Red Bull is a total gimmick. According to Wikipedia, it has about as much caffeine as two Cokes and slightly less caffeine than a cup of coffee.

6:23 PM  
Blogger BaxterWatch said...

i have to say that I totally love how your manager(s) and DJ(s) back you up - that is very neat.

6:47 PM  
Blogger Flambeaux said...

Here's one reader who has no clue where or how to buy weed, or anything else illegal for that matter.

I knew a crack dealer once, back when I was in high school. But that was 15 years and several states ago.

But I did get lots of questions like that when I worked in a tobacco shop while I was in grad school. The hopheads all assumed that, since we sold cigars and pipe tobacco, we would carry dope and "paraphenalia" behind the counter.


7:00 PM  
Blogger First Year said...

It never ceases to amaze me that some people don't find the need for any level of discretion when trying to do something illegal.

10:08 PM  
Blogger SkippyMom said...

Your attitude concerning this kind of behavior is amazing and I applaud you (as well as "Duke" - tell him we said "Nice choice of a" Seriously, guys just don't get - the answer was NO - I don't care the equation - the answer is NO and you can take it and be on your merry way - don't push the envelope and don't turn into an ass, b/c otherwise it may come back to bite ya'.
Great post. Kudos.
[Again - sense of entitlement and he is "owed" his dope dammit....eesh!]

10:34 PM  
Blogger Thy said...

my friend's neighbor is growing pot.

surprised he hasn't been caught yet--he's growing it just behind his fence and you can smell it when he's smokin.

10:52 PM  
Anonymous stephen said...

Well since you do actually know where to score, can you hook me up?

Ha, Ha..uh...yeah...Ummmm, just kidding?

7:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another great post!

8:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thy V, where do you live? :)

10:42 AM  
Anonymous Scott said...

Yeah I must be getting old as well, coz I wouldn't have the foggiest idea where to get drugs from...

4:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuckin' rat.

10:26 AM  
Blogger i'llnevertell! said...

now now now, what have i said in the past about people wishing to be rude while still signing under the name anonymous? if you're going to cast judgement on others, at least have the fucking balls to admit to your own comments... pussy.

1:24 PM  

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