Tuesday, September 12, 2006

The Freaks Come Out at Night

Part One

Friday night was a very hard night for me. After being in class all day I went straight to work without taking a nap. Because of this I was more than a few steps behind all the drama and fighting that ensued. Maybe that's a good thing.

There were three specific dramatic events that occurred Friday night. They are all rather exciting and some are long winded, so I am splitting them up into three parts, for the sake of suspense. This is part one.

Early in the night a table of regulars, meaning I remembered them enough to know what they drank, came in. The guy and the girl I had met before, but they brought two friends with them, "Preggars" and "Bigun". I automatically brought them a pitcher of Miller Light and four glasses, as well as Red Bull and Preggars had a coke. The trouble didn't start until three pitchers and a few hours later.

"Hey there, girl," Bigun drawled at me. He was a large, sweaty man, wearing a cut off grey t-shirt that showed several badly done tattoos on his upper arms. "I want to do some shots, you think any of these people will drink them with me?"

"I am sure that if you're buying, people will drink," I said.

"Well, hell, bring me a shot of Rumplemintz and whatever the rest of these people want."

Several dancers were sitting with them, so I took orders. Preggars wanted a glass of wine and the other lady, my regular, drinks Washington Apples, so I brought her one as well.

Soon, the drinking was underhand. Preggars was on her second glass of wine, my regular lady was on her third Washington Apple and was stuffing one's down my pants, and Bigun was drinking double Jack and Coke's. At this point, the exhaustion is starting to hit me, and I'm moving rather slow.

I decide that it's in this table's best interest if I only hit them (wait on them, for those not in the business) every other round. They seem to be heavy binge drinkers and I'm loathe to cut people off. I'm standing at the service station when I look up to see Bigun dancing around and attempting to take his shirt off. I motion for Boss to come over.

"Hey, see that big guy over there? He's going to be trouble. Try and keep an eye on him if you can, I'm too tired to deal with it."

As I'm saying this, Bigun attempts to do some version of a pirouette and knocks into another guy trying to carry his pitcher of beer to his table. My ears perk up, as I'm afraid that a fight might ensue. Luckily, pitcher man doesn't seem to mind.

A few moments later one of my dancers, "Dawn" comes up to me, enraged.

"Oh my GOD Waitress," she pants, "do you know what the fuck just happened?"

"No, what honey?"

"Well, you see that bitch with the short brown hair over there?" She motions to my table of regulars. "I was on stage two and Miranda was on stage one. This stupid bitch goes up to tip Miranda and starts talking shit about me!"

"She was talking shit about you to Miranda?" I was intrigued, and surprised. "While she was tipping her?"

"Fuck yes she did! She said 'I don't like Dawn, she walks around here like she's the shit. I haven't liked her since she was fat."

"Ooooh no she didn't!" I'm excited now and the ghetto in my voice is coming out of me. "You were never fat, Dawn. What did Miranda do?"

"She told her that she needed to keep her voice down because I was on the other stage."

Remember what I said about alcohol being liquid courage? Do you also remember what I said about strippers being able to fight? Luckily, there was no fight in this instance.

When Dawn got off stage, Miranda told her what "bitch with the short brown hair" said. Dawn, not being one to put up with flack, marched up to "bitch with short brown hair" and confronted her.

"I said 'do you have something you want to say to me, because apparently you like saying it to the other girls here'."

"Oh my God what did she say?" I waited, holding my breath.

"This bitch stood up and I was like, okay, let's go, and she said 'no no no no no' over and over again."

"Just like that, 'no no no no no'? Nothing else?"

"Yeah, it was weird, just 'no no no no no'."

Dawn laughed and went back to her customer. I went back to waiting tables. That is, until about an hour later when the next batch of drama exploded.

To be continued...


Anonymous Gypsy_Jo said...

ya cut that one to soon, kitten! was there any "you doknowme"'s??? sell em to springer....your regulars, I mean :)


5:41 PM  
Blogger i'llnevertell! said...

jo i sm quite confused at your post. what are you talking about? and btw-you can feel that i "cut that one to soon" all you like, but try and remember that there are three parts to the story and all of this actually happened, i'm not embellishing at all. Other then that i just don't understand what you are trying to say

7:46 PM  
Blogger angsty cola said...

Can't wait to read what happens next!

10:41 PM  
Blogger Thy said...

you should have your own soap opera

11:50 PM  
Anonymous Gypsy_Jo said...

I wasnt bashing, I'm sorry if it was received that way. intense prompting maybe??????

...fine...I'll wait...while my imagination runs willy nilly over all the drama that can happen in a bar. (I'm giggling, hope u r 2)


7:38 AM  
Anonymous Tracy said...

When you say "preggars" do you mean a pregnant woman? If so, your bar was serving her alcohol???

11:35 AM  
Blogger i'llnevertell! said...

Just because she's pregnant doesn't mean I am not allowed to serve her. I know how that must sound, but legally the only reason I can not serve her is if she is intoxicated. From what I hear, one glass of red wine is supposed to be good for pregnant women.

12:12 PM  

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