Saturday, March 31, 2007

Vengeance, Thy Name Is Waitress; Idiot, Thy Name Is Anonymous

Before I ever began writing this blog, I informed all of my co-workers (employee's only) about what I was doing. I even let them choose their own names; hence Duke, Elvis, CEO, etcetera. I also made a promise that I wouldn't write about their personal drama. These people are my extended family, and I could give a rats ass about the customer bullshit, but these people are my friends.

That said, the reason for the lack of posts as of late is because the majority of the drama happening at The Titty-Club has been inter-employee bullshit. Luckily, the drama seems to have passed over (hah to my Jewish friends) us; and I am now free again to write about stupid customers.

Before I do; however, I would like to start a segment, much similar to a "mail bag" on other sites, where I post a ridiculous comment from some random idiot, make a rebuttal, and then let all of my faithful readers tear them to shit with their responses. Cocky? Yes. Self-indulgent? Oh fuck yes. But this is my blog and I get to make the rules!

Here we go then; this comment came from "anonymous" (but of course); although I was able to determine that they are from Hoboken New Jersey (hah! site meter wins again!), and is in response to my last post "A day in the life."


"Well," I start, "I'm Jewish, and Boyfriend is Methodist, so it's not really a big deal for us. Because my status as a Jew is ascribed (inherited), regardless of whether our children attend Church, they will still be Jewish."

I feel badly for your future children. Not because they will be Jewish but because they have a mother who is dumb enough to think that the above is a smart answer. Your $0.02 was literally worth $0.02.

OKAY! Here we go:

Dear Anonymous from Hoboken:

I take it you missed the class period where the discussion on the differences between race, ethnicity, and religion were discussed. Your spelling was on track, and you didn't write in that God awful "leet" speak, which I so despise, so I have to assume that at the very least you made it out of high school.

That being said, I feel I should educate you on the matter, so as you can refrain from embarrassing yourself further.

A persons' race, religion, and ethnicity are three separate yet equally important facets of who a person is. Take for example, me. I am white. White is my race, although some PC people would rather me refer to myself as Caucasian. In all reality, I'm sort of pink-ish with freckles. That would be my color. Making sense to you yet? So, I am of the Caucasian/white people race.

Now, my ethnicity is Jewish. It is my culture and my background. It also happens to be my religion. Is the light bulb starting to come on for you yet, Hoboken? Now, let's examine my Grandmother.

My Grandmother is white/Caucasian (remember, Hoboken; that's her race). She is ethnically Jewish, having being raised in a Jewish family in Birmingham, England. (Not Alabama, in case you're confused, Hoboken. I don't want to throw too much on you at once). As per her religion, she is Agnostic. See how that works? She's one of each... How exciting for her.

So, back to my unborn children. If Boyfriend and I get married and have children, they will be White/Caucasian. They will also be ethnically Jewish, because I am a Jew, and it follows on the mothers' lineage. Regardless of whether they decide to become Methodist, Buddhist, Spaghetti-monster-ist (you get the picture); they will be, essentially, Jewish.

I hope that clears it up for you, Hoboken. Looks like your $0.02 wasn't worth shit.

Have a fabulous day,
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